Prologue
Sooo this is my life. The idea of it is quite
comical, but living it—it was fucking terrifying. Once I realized how screwed
up my life was I started documenting it in this computer journal. Some may
believe every word I say, and others may label me as a good story-teller—but
this is my life. Exactly how I lived it. Okay, I may exaggerate here and there.
Like when I say my shit don’t stink? It totally does. So there’s a warning….
Just a little bit about me (so
you’re not just, like, creeping on some stranger’s life, or whatever): I was
adopted. Sort of. When I was about two years old or something, my “parents”
said that I just floated down the river. I don’t believe them but they swear
there was a baby in a basket while my dad was fishing. Conveniently, they couldn’t
get preggers, SO HERE I AM. Whoever I was before, no one knows. But fifteen
years later I am Jacey Stirgo. My parents have an odd idea for good names, I
know. But then again they fell into the fate of the last name Stirgo in the
first place. Whatever. Anyway, my favourite colour is grey and I enjoy long
walks on the beach in the sunset. HAHAHAHA just kidding. I live in a great
place called Vancouver, British Columbia. I am a wonderful Canadian that eats
bacon and chops trees down and drinks beer daily. Ha ha ha. Another funny.
Sorry. Anyway I’m finishing my spring semester of my senior year of high
school. HURRAH or something. I’m not super smart with perfect grades or
anything, but I’m not a complete failure. I really don’t know what to do with
my life. I’m average at many things but other things I just plain suck at.
Science, math, and English being just a small part of that. Who am I kidding?
That’s practically everything in the world. I SUCK. Cool. Now that we’ve
established a basis of my character let’s move on to the actual meat of the
story, shall we?
Let me just reiterate: No matter how
comical and great or lame and unoriginal this may sound, IT WAS FUCKING
TERRIFYING.
