This guy...

Let's just say that if there was ever such thing as love for the unknown, this is it. I ache every time I see him. I need to see something of his everyday. If I don't see him at school, then I have to look on Facebook. His face makes me feel miserable. But it's the good kind of miserable. The kind that makes you want to feel it for your whole life. The kind that makes you not want to take a chance on him because you're worried happiness might actually come true. You almost hope for him to reject you so you can stay in this miserable comfort forever.
I go to sleep thinking about him every night. And I wake up thinking about him.
But I have no idea who he is.
From what I've seen, he could be one of those guys that gets shitfaced every weekend and fucks girls on the side. Will he leave me in a ditch? Or hold me safe? Maybe I'll be the one girl he'll ever truly care about. That's all I can hope for. I hope that he's the one person who could completely fuck up my life. Then make it all better, just by holding my hand.
What if it comes true? Everything I hope and wish for? Is it a miracle? Or just a coincidence?
What if it doesn't? What if nothing goes right? Is it for the better? Or is it just life?
I need you. You who will never read this. You who I'm afraid to name. Because if I do, you'll know that it's you.
But what do you know? Do you know that I love you? The unknown-mysterious you? You're exactly what I want. Who I want. I've known it for so long, but you could actually be the one to stop my madness. You could be the one to kill the insanity and replace it with a flourishing flower.
I don't like flowers. If this happened, I wouldn't love you anymore. I don't see the point in flowers. Why would you give me a flower? I'd trash everything. I'd ruin everything. I'd destroy our happiness.
But if you're who I think you are, you'd bring it back. You'd throw the flower away and leave me with nothing but desperation. Desperation for you.
Some might say that this is going too far. To talk about you like this. But it's not a crime to tell the world how I feel. It's not a crime to feel like this. But it's a crime to stay silent. How would you feel if I never told you? It's called a secret. Sometimes in relationships, people will call it lying, because the truth was never told. But here I am. Telling the truth. I fucking love you. I don't even know your middle name, favourite colour, or last girlfriend. Did you ever have a girlfriend? Or did you just get on, get off, get out? Or are you a lone wolf? Either way, I'm telling you how I feel. Because if someone felt this way about me, I would want to know. I just hope you feel the same.
I'm a lone wolf. But everything has something to rely on. We could rely on each other. We could be together, just you and me. We could make the world jealous. We could be quiet, and mysterious, and in love. Isn't that what you want? I want it. I want it so much that I'm miserable. Miserable for you.
Do you have pain in your life? I want to take it away. I want to make it my pain. I want to kill it. Kill the pain that fills your heart so all you'll have room left over for is love.
Love for me.
Love me.
Love.